Mark brought pizza home from Costco tonight...I'm telling you...my inspiration comes from the strangest places...this is a rediculous rhyme about a pizza delivery boy...
Why me?
Workin on a Friday night
No money in my pockets
Can’t take my girl out for a bite
Another shift
Doin’ time at the pizza place
Deliverin’ pies is my game
It’s a rat’s race
Large pepperoni in my hand
Cool…the apartment’s on the ground floor
In three minutes flat
I arrive at the door
Chick answers my knock
Dressed for the kill
I hand over the pie
She gives me a $20 dollar bill
What happened next I’m not sure
Though I was left in despair
Woke up with a knot on my head
Tied to a chair
Now this is a first I thought
Trying to wriggle free
I’ve tied up a few
But no girl’s tied me
I jerked and I shifted
Around in my seat
Hoping to slip away
Ropes tight at my hands and feet
Like a fish out of water
Flappin’ around
I sent that stupid chair
Straight to the ground
Not so bad if there’s carpet
A cushion or throw
But my head hit tile
It took another blow
I lay there in pain
Wondering what to do then
I tried yelling for help
Over and over again
Here girl…she came
Her tail wagging like crazy
A dog to my rescue
Her tag read Ms. Daisy
Chew here and tug there
I gave her commands
I’ll play with you girl
If you can just free my hands
But instead she drank from her bowl
Lapping what seemed like gallon
Then proceeded to lick my face
Didn’t care that I’d fallen
I finally shimmied free
Pondered my case
Dusted off my clothes
Got out of that place
Ran for my car
Which of course was not there
$20 gone from my pocket
Don’t even have cab fare
I stick out my thumb
Hoping someone will see
Then all of a sudden
A car stops for me
Wouldn’t you know it?
It’s just my bad luck
It’s my girl that pulls over
There’s a guy in her truck
“Oh this is Steve” she says
“He’s just a pal”
But “just a pal” Steve's
Sitting too close to my gal
No room in front
So I hop in the bed
Feeling like Daisy
The wind blowing through the hair on my head
The pizza manager was waiting
Pointing to the clock
What took you so long?
Your delivery was one block
What I said next
Gave him a panic attack
Deliver your own pizzas!
I’m not coming back!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Oh my God! You make delivering pizzas sound like a living hell! I must remember to tip more...
xx
It probably is! Hey, have a good weekend! I hope dinner goes well. My advice...make something you can feed him with your fingers! :) I feel like we're all getting to know Bimbo so well we might have to have a long
distance baby shower for her!
Don't we all have a twisted side? Kat, I know you lick the batter bowl when nobody's looking...you naughty girl! ha ha I'm also thinking Elise should show him the door...but I know I probably wouldn't at her age (I'm guessing she's younger than me)so I'm playing along.
Post a Comment