Stupid Drinking Tricks

So I recently got an email from my friend Amy reminding me of something that I did about 18 years ago that should remind us all with kids why alcohol is BAD!!!! It was a Friday night I believe and we had been invited by an older (all of 21 years old maybe) friend of mine to go to some parties in Denver. Growing up in small town Northglenn made Denver parties sound really cool. So Amy and I decided to go. We got all dressed up, wearing our new jean jackets and blue eye shadow no doubt. We drove to my friends' house in Aurora. She drove us to Denver to the Air Force Base to party. Are you seeing any red flags yet because I don't think we could have seen them if they were hitting us in the face like bugs hitting your windshield driving to Kansas. Oh, but first on the way, we picked up some hitchhikers!!!! Yes, seriously,because I'm sure that our mothers never told us not too????? After we picked them up we totally freaked out (a little too late don't ya think). I think they needed some snacks (they had the munchies?) so we stopped at a gas station and when they got out and said "wait right here" we took off! (the first and only smart thing we did all night). But anyway, on to the air force. So at the base we met lots of really good looking guys (gee surprising huh?) Wow, these guys didn't drink the cheap stuff like we drank in Northglenn either. The had some pretty good beer. Kegs full of it! Its like they were expecting us or something. I wondered if they had done this before? Before you know it, Amy and I are pretty drunk and for some reason, in a laundry room looking for a lost cat I think. My memory fails me here (duh). Then the part that Amy loves........apparently, I climbed into one of the dryers and shut the door, yelling from the inside, "turn it on"!!!! Thank you Amy for having more sense than me, even in your drunken state, to not turn on the dryer, I'm sure what I was wearing was dry clean only. The rest of the night is history and as I puked on the air force lobby couch I wondered if I had had a good time or not. Amy and I managed to find my friend who had left us for some guys and went home to her house in Aurora. We crashed at her house and in the morning I woke up missing some clothing (get your head out of the gutter). I was missing a sock, only one. I guess it bit the dust somewhere on that air force couch and someone was kind enough to remove it for me so that when I woke up, hungover, hungry, confused and lost, at least I wouldn't be wondering who puked on my sock because honestly, at this point, I'm not sure if it was me or Amy who puked on it. We had not told our parents that we were not coming home that night, mostly because, well, we had every intention of going home since we both totally had curfews that we had now missed by about 10 hours. So we ate some Lucky Charms and packed up Amy's Volkswagon and headed towards the direction that we thought was Northglenn. Well, at the time Aurora was like a foreign country to Amy and I. We'd never really been that far and frankly, we had no idea where we were or where we were going. After about an hour of driving we knew we were lost. All of a sudden, bang, bang, someone was shooting at us! Amy and I ducked. Amy continues to drive and duck so that she wouldn't get shot in the head. (don't laugh, have you ever been shot in the head? It frickin' hurts.) Then I notice the car is going really really slowly and I yell to Amy to go faster or they will catch us...whoever "they" were. She said that she couldn't go any faster and the car just putt putted along. Well, this really sucks because the only thing worse than being chased and shot at while in a Volkswagen without bullet proof windows is being chased and shot at in a Volkswagen that is breakin' down on your ass! Come to find out, and I know this will surprise everyone, but we were not being shot at after all. Our tire had a blowout! We had to then call her dad who was momentarily glad to hear from us since our parents were calling 911 reporting us missing. If they would have had the Amber Alert back then our faces would have been plastered all over the television! That moment was cut short when we had to tell him to come get us, in some town in the middle of nowhere, wherever "nowhere" was, with a broken down Volkswagen, and missing a sock. I don't even think there were cross streets to give him. I mean, like we were on a highway to nowhere! (Okay fine, we were in Brighton.) Somehow, he found us. It took him a while to find us and can you imagine...no hugs...no "how are you?", no "how was the party?", not even so much as a comment on my missing a sock. As a matter of fact, I don't think I had ever seen Amy's dad so quiet in all my time knowing her. I thought, "wow, he's awfully calm." He came over to the car, tools in hand, and thinking back I'm surprised he didn't hit me over the head with one of them. He fixed the tire just like dads do. At one point, he didn't seem real happy when he was turning those little lug nut thingies and happen to scrape his knuckles across the bare road. He was already a mighty bright shade of red but that really took it up a notch. He didn't say a word to us all the way home. Our parents grounded us for infinity after we tried to continue our pathetic lies about "accidentally falling asleep at a friends house in Northglenn". Gosh that was scary fun huh Amy?!?!