Lense Blog - This Morning's Jog

The pond across from our neighborhood

The sheep that come to talk to me every day

Another pond

On the way down the hill

View of the flatirons

My dead shadow

Fall on the Farm

These were taken at our friend's Scott and Lisa's Harvest Party...

All Dressed Up With No Husband

Why am I blogging you ask on a Saturday night when I should be out with my husband? Because Mark forgot we had a date!!! I called him about an hour ago to see if he was almost home from work because it seemed he was running late. He told me that he was going to be at work for another hour!!!! Then he realized why I was calling and said he'd be right home. So I'm just sitting here waiting... :)

Don't Cha?

To be sung to the tune of Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls...

Don't you wish your bread was yummy like mine

Don't you wish your bread was pumkinny like mine

Don't cha

Don't cha

Don't you wish your bread was scrumptious like mine

Don't you wish your bread was palatable like mine

Don't cha

Don't cha

Pumpkin Spice Bread Recipe:

Ingredients

1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree

4 eggs

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup butter (can substitute with applesauce)

2/3 cup water

2 cups white sugar

1 cup brown sugar

3 1/2 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

splash of vanilla

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour three 7x3 loaf pans.

In a large bowl, mix together all wet ingredients. In a separate bowl mix together all dry ingredients. Add dry ingredients to wet and mix until just blended. Pour into prepared pans.

Bake for about 50 minutes in a preheated oven. Yours may take longer as I used a convection oven and it seems to cook faster. Toothpick test works well here.

Enjoy!

Chester Arthur Stiles

Chester Arthur Stiles
Monster, loathsome, vile
Abominable, repulsive, pedophile

So inclined to taping
No running, no escaping
Your sick deeds, your filth, your raping

Never minding her resistance
Contamination by existence
Wasteful, foul, revolting putrescence

Chester Arthur Stiles
Abominable, repulsive, pedophile
Let’s go for a walk, just one short green mile

Michelle Hix
9/2007

Michelle's notes: I was surprised when I wrote this. I wasn't intending to end it the way I did. I am opposed to the death penalty. However, this man is an obvious argument for the death penalty.

Stolen Breath

This morning I decided to venture out of my neighborhood for my jog-walk-jog. We do have a track right behind my house at the school but school's in today so I decided to walk to the top of the steepest hill in Thornton, which just happens to border the south side of my neighborhood. I knew not to underestimate the length and steepness of the hill but I wanted to run to the top without stopping. So I did. It felt good. Close to the top I heard myself saying one-foot-in-front-of-the-o-ther...one-foot-in-front-of-the-o-ther, over and over to keep my pace. As I reach the top I turn around to look behind me to relish in my accomplishment when I am taken by surprise. It wasn't the hill climb that I am proud of. I realize, just then while I was half bent in exhaustion and wiping the sweat from my forehead, that I live in one of the most beautiful places in all the world. From the top of this hill I see over all the houses in my neighborhood all the way down through the Boulder Valley, straight up to the Flatirons. As I look from my left to my right there are mountains charging into the sky. What little breath I have left over from running up the hill is snatched from my lungs. I round the corner and continue northbound, now walking, letting my muscles recover. This is the end of the sidewalk. The rest of my route would be dirt mixed with rocks and wild grass. I call this the "crunchy" part of my walk. I love the sound that my Nike's make when they step into the ground against the dirt. After a mile or so I head west and am able to enjoy the beauty of the mountains once more for another mile. On this leg of my jog-walk-jog I encounter two horses who trot over to speak with me when they see me coming. They must get fed by other people on the same path regularly because they are not afraid of me. I say to them "hello sweet babies" and wave to them. I keep on my way but from a distance I hear "baaaa". I think to myself, "did those horses just baaa at me?" I stop, back up and realize that there are also two sheep laying in the shade near the horses. So I yell back, "hello sweet babies to you too". The closest one says "baaaa" again. So again I say "hello sweet babies" even louder. Again he says "baaaa". He doesn't skip a beat. We go back and forth about 10 times before I finally say good bye. There is a big hill of dirt that I climb next. When I reach the top, I look around. I can almost see my house. Its a couple of fields over (our neighborhood is in the middle of rural farm land). I squint my eyes to see if I can zoom in on it. Its too far away which tells me that I must get going. I walk down the hill and pick up my pace to a slow jog and cross the rail road tracks (soon to be light rail). As I make a left to head south towards my neighborhood a car passes me by. It is a rough looking man and I wonder to myself if he is good or bad. Once I had looked up the pedophiles in my area on the Internet and found that there was one that lived in the rural area across from my neighborhood. For a second I wonder if it is him. Then I wonder what people think of me as they see me running around the neighborhood all the time. I thought I better just keep my thoughts to nature and jogging and get home. So I do.

Sprouted Bread & Egg Sandwich

I can't decide what to have for breakfast...its 7:59 am and I haven't eaten a thing and I'm starving for some reason. Nothing sounds good. Oddly, a fried egg kind of sounds good. Maybe a fried egg on some sprouted bread. Oh, maybe a fried egg on some toasted sprouted bread with avocado slices, served open face?

So this morning my cat is acting like its going to puke so I throw his ass out in the garage...I figure if he throws up in the garage, well, that's my husbands territory right? Yes, I have good tricks up my sleeve.

Today I am meeting my girlfriends at Mexico City...tacos!!!! I can't wait. I don't know what could be more fun than laughing and eating tacos...Adios!

Oral Hygiene

Hey, I'm all for oral hygiene as much as the next person, if not more, but where do we draw the line? This morning during my jog-walk-jog a man passes me by while brushing his teeth in his car! Why? Was he in such a hurry that he had to take his tooth brush and run? And don't most of us brush our teeth first thing in the morning? Before the shower, before we get dressed, before we read the newspaper? I mean really, where is he spitting? I think this is what happened...

Mr. Oral Hygiene: Goodbye honey, I'm off for work!
Mrs. Oral Hygiene: Did you get the lunch I packed for you?
Mr. Oral Hygiene: Sure did honey, thanks for the tuna!
Mrs. Oral Hygiene: Did you put on clean underwear?
Mr. Oral Hygiene: Um, yes dear, they smelled clean.
Mrs. Oral Hygiene: Did you wash behind your ears?
Mr. Oral Hygiene: Oh come on sweetie, I did that yesterday.
Mrs. Oral Hygiene: Did you brush your teeth?
Mr. Oral Hygiene: Awe shucks, you know me too well, I'll do it on the way.

The Internet Rocks

The kids have been back to school now for a month. Between 5th and 1st grades, there is a lot of homework. Thank goodness for the Internet. I have used it to help look up who invented Scotch Tape, what the Bose-Einstein Condensate is, and many other things I couldn't explain to "M". The Internet makes us moms look real smart.

5th grade is hard. Especially at her school for academically gifted students. But what I love about 5th grade is that the responsibility of homework and projects is no longer the parents'. She carries a planner with her all the time and brings it to all her classes. At her school, all the kids switch classes (just like Jr. High and High School) from the beginning in Kindergarten. So it is pretty hectic watching 5 year olds mixed with 8th graders switching classes all day long.

"C" is doing amazing with her reading and I believe that she is probably the top in her class...(although she is not in the top class)...there are 6 reading levels in her grade. She loves her teachers but says that her math teacher is kind of mean. We'll see.

Rockstar

'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars and live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars...
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rock star!
I just love that song! So I was singing it pretty loudly the other day, and apparently inaudibly and "M" says to me, "Hey, hey, you wanna be a Bratz Doll?" Only the moms will understand...

Today I went to a baby shower for my friend Kelly. She's due October 15th with her first, although she is a step mom to 3 already. She comes from a family of 7 and wants to raise a big family also. I think its wonderful. I wish I came from a big family. Her mom Debbie was there. Debbie is one of my favorite people on this planet. I used to work with Debbie. Debbie is one of those friends that God just knows you need and so he gives them to you. I love you Debbie!

After the shower, one of the husbands came to pick up his wife wearing a shirt that read I [heart] Hot Moms.

Halloween

Today I took the girls to Target to just goof around. We were kind of bored and they love to just shop around because they know they will end up getting me to buy them something. Well yesterday the something was Halloween costumes. Yes, I know its only September. But for once the girls made a quick decision on what they wanted to be. "M" picked this fancy dress with a wig. I think she's some sort of renaissance girl. "C" is a "glamour girl" equipped with gold shoes, a shawl and a crown.

First Crushes

I found out today that "M" has her first crush on a boy. (she doesn't know that I know.) She's in 5th grade. That's the same age I was when I had my first crush. His name was Andy Love. Isn't that appropriate? All the girls loved Andy Love. We used to follow him across the football field after school, then across the street and watch as he entered his front door. Then we'd stand around and talk about how cute he was and then we'd go home for snack.

Love Spells

Did you know that there are websites that claim you can put a spell on your ex-lover to come back to you? They state that being alone is the worst pain you can be in. I am thinking that they have never given birth or had a kidney stone! Anyway, I stumbled on one of these websites today and had to laugh. I would love to know how many people have paid for their Love Potion #9. I've got some junk in my garage I'd like to sell them. Here's one of the links http://www.instantlovespell.com/. I wonder if you pay per spell or if you can purchase bulk spells? I mean, what if you want all your lovers to come back to you?

Chasing Cars

Love this song...

We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

Running

Do you see my scars? Are they visible to you? Has your tongue been the weapon as you say your adieu? Can you hear me cry? Is it deafening to your ears, when the screams of my emotion come through wailing flooding tears? Can you see me leaving? Am I far enough away? Have I hidden my agenda? Do you still want me to stay? Can you feel my burdens? Are they heavy on your heart? We'll always be together even though we're far apart.

I don't know what was up my butt when I wrote this but I found it when I was cleaning out my files.

Pinata Club

Get this... the kids are in two after school clubs. The first one started yesterday...its called the Pinata Club. How cool is that? All they do is make and decorate pinatas! Its a ooey gooey mess that never sees my dining room table! On Thursday they have the Public Service Announcement Video Club. ha ha. That cracks me up every time I say it. I don't know why. In that club they will be making and editing video announcements for their school. They are always entertaining and full of good information.

Aroma

Our house is located within a mile of the Allegro Coffee company...mmmm....I can't even tell you how amazing it smells in the morning when they are roasting the beans! Unfortunately they must not roast beans every day because I only smell it randomly.

Vanilla Armpits

I wish you could smell my armpits today. I started using some new deodorant that I found at Target. Its vanilla chai. Seriously, I've been walking around all day smelling my own armpits. I wonder if this is normal. I think Vanilla Armpits would make a great name for a band.

Tattoo Removal vs. Botox

So my tattoo removal process has been a long one but I'm half way there. Its pretty cool. I've had 3 treatments. Each treatment only takes about 10 seconds but costs $138 each. Most of the black has faded to nothing but the pink is coming to the forefront and they will be zapping that away soon. There is no scarring at all. Both of the girls have gotten to watch one treatment. We all put on these funky laser filtering glasses and then the tattoo removal lady has me put a hose that blows ice cold air directly onto my tattoo. This is freezing air and serves to sort of numb the area I think. Anyway, the air hurts. Then she lasers the area which the pain is equivalent to a very short man stabbing me in the ankle with a fiery knife. But again, its only 10 seconds long and its almost fun in a weird kind of painful way. I had decided to get my tattoo removed as a celebration of my 20 year high school reunion coming up. I think its a good decision since I've heard of others in my class getting liposuction and Botox.

Boys & Girls

Today I found notes written between my daughter and a friend of hers being of the boy gender. They were so hilarious. Now mind you, I wouldn't have read them had I found them folded up in her room, but these were laying flat on the dining room table for all the world to see. So the note from the boy, who shall remain nameless, reads:

1. How do girls write "talk to you later?"
2. What do girls draw?
3. How do girls write?

My daughter replies:

1. TTYL
2. Flowers and hearts
3. Hi! I'm (insert name), I like pie! That is all we say.

Okay, now picture #3 above with flowers where all the i dots are supposed to be and there you have it.

Then he writes:

1. See you later
2. We draw games with magic, war, evil dudes, etc., usually high tech.
(Then he draws a picture under #2 with a guy with a knife and another guy on the ground with a bomb. hmmm)
3. Bad stuff

She's in the note writing, talking on the phone, sleeping over at someone's house every weekend time in her life. Remember how fun that was?

Stupid Drinking Tricks

So I recently got an email from my friend Amy reminding me of something that I did about 18 years ago that should remind us all with kids why alcohol is BAD!!!! It was a Friday night I believe and we had been invited by an older (all of 21 years old maybe) friend of mine to go to some parties in Denver. Growing up in small town Northglenn made Denver parties sound really cool. So Amy and I decided to go. We got all dressed up, wearing our new jean jackets and blue eye shadow no doubt. We drove to my friends' house in Aurora. She drove us to Denver to the Air Force Base to party. Are you seeing any red flags yet because I don't think we could have seen them if they were hitting us in the face like bugs hitting your windshield driving to Kansas. Oh, but first on the way, we picked up some hitchhikers!!!! Yes, seriously,because I'm sure that our mothers never told us not too????? After we picked them up we totally freaked out (a little too late don't ya think). I think they needed some snacks (they had the munchies?) so we stopped at a gas station and when they got out and said "wait right here" we took off! (the first and only smart thing we did all night). But anyway, on to the air force. So at the base we met lots of really good looking guys (gee surprising huh?) Wow, these guys didn't drink the cheap stuff like we drank in Northglenn either. The had some pretty good beer. Kegs full of it! Its like they were expecting us or something. I wondered if they had done this before? Before you know it, Amy and I are pretty drunk and for some reason, in a laundry room looking for a lost cat I think. My memory fails me here (duh). Then the part that Amy loves........apparently, I climbed into one of the dryers and shut the door, yelling from the inside, "turn it on"!!!! Thank you Amy for having more sense than me, even in your drunken state, to not turn on the dryer, I'm sure what I was wearing was dry clean only. The rest of the night is history and as I puked on the air force lobby couch I wondered if I had had a good time or not. Amy and I managed to find my friend who had left us for some guys and went home to her house in Aurora. We crashed at her house and in the morning I woke up missing some clothing (get your head out of the gutter). I was missing a sock, only one. I guess it bit the dust somewhere on that air force couch and someone was kind enough to remove it for me so that when I woke up, hungover, hungry, confused and lost, at least I wouldn't be wondering who puked on my sock because honestly, at this point, I'm not sure if it was me or Amy who puked on it. We had not told our parents that we were not coming home that night, mostly because, well, we had every intention of going home since we both totally had curfews that we had now missed by about 10 hours. So we ate some Lucky Charms and packed up Amy's Volkswagon and headed towards the direction that we thought was Northglenn. Well, at the time Aurora was like a foreign country to Amy and I. We'd never really been that far and frankly, we had no idea where we were or where we were going. After about an hour of driving we knew we were lost. All of a sudden, bang, bang, someone was shooting at us! Amy and I ducked. Amy continues to drive and duck so that she wouldn't get shot in the head. (don't laugh, have you ever been shot in the head? It frickin' hurts.) Then I notice the car is going really really slowly and I yell to Amy to go faster or they will catch us...whoever "they" were. She said that she couldn't go any faster and the car just putt putted along. Well, this really sucks because the only thing worse than being chased and shot at while in a Volkswagen without bullet proof windows is being chased and shot at in a Volkswagen that is breakin' down on your ass! Come to find out, and I know this will surprise everyone, but we were not being shot at after all. Our tire had a blowout! We had to then call her dad who was momentarily glad to hear from us since our parents were calling 911 reporting us missing. If they would have had the Amber Alert back then our faces would have been plastered all over the television! That moment was cut short when we had to tell him to come get us, in some town in the middle of nowhere, wherever "nowhere" was, with a broken down Volkswagen, and missing a sock. I don't even think there were cross streets to give him. I mean, like we were on a highway to nowhere! (Okay fine, we were in Brighton.) Somehow, he found us. It took him a while to find us and can you imagine...no hugs...no "how are you?", no "how was the party?", not even so much as a comment on my missing a sock. As a matter of fact, I don't think I had ever seen Amy's dad so quiet in all my time knowing her. I thought, "wow, he's awfully calm." He came over to the car, tools in hand, and thinking back I'm surprised he didn't hit me over the head with one of them. He fixed the tire just like dads do. At one point, he didn't seem real happy when he was turning those little lug nut thingies and happen to scrape his knuckles across the bare road. He was already a mighty bright shade of red but that really took it up a notch. He didn't say a word to us all the way home. Our parents grounded us for infinity after we tried to continue our pathetic lies about "accidentally falling asleep at a friends house in Northglenn". Gosh that was scary fun huh Amy?!?!

Boulder Falls

The girls and I recently drove up to Boulder Falls for a little hike. On the way driving up we ate tons of food. On the way down the mountain "C" says that she is starving. Confused (we just ate about 2 hours prior) I tell her that she's probably not starving but that we have to go to the grocery store anyway to get stuff for dinner so we'll grab something to eat when we get there in town. Then "C" says "no WE don't need to go to the grocery store, YOU need to get your child some food". Totally in this sarcastic voice like she was going to call social services or something...it was so funny.