These are Words..."Sont les mots qui vont très bien ensemble": Why My Husband Gets To Look at Porn for a Year

Tonight's conversation went like this...

Me: Standing at his desk with hands on hips, right eyebrow raised and head tilted

Hubby: Whut? (with the "I've done nothing wrong" look on his face)

Me: (picking up his new calendar to inspect it) Ahem! Real nice hon...classy...a Sports Illustrated daily calendar? How is this a necessary office item?

Hubby: Babe, it's March. It was either that one or a Rush Limbaugh one.

Me: Good point. Where should we hang it?

93 Oddities & Tidbits About Me

1. I'm 5'4" if I stand up straight
2. I like ribbons and shiny things
3. I like shoes, feet and toes...all shapes and sizes
4. I love my family and need to show it more
5. I love a good glass of wine
6. I love cold bottled beer
7. I have neat kids
8. I have a cat and two dogs
9. I like to sing but am the WORST singer
10. I like to clean house but hate "picking up"
11. I have a bad memory but I love history
12. I love to spend time with older people
13. I enjoy antiques
14. I love to read
15. I'm a libra
16. I still have made up words in my head from my childhood
17. I touch and smell everything when I shop
18. I haven't eaten a steak or a hamburger since 1987
19. I ~~am having~~had my tattoo removed in 2007
20. I get lost driving sometimes
21. I've never smoke cigarettes
22. I love wildflowers more than roses
23. I have had a stuffed monkey on my bed for 39 years
24. I wore braces
25. I'm still best friends with my first boyfriend
26. I was a cheerleader in highschool
27. I want to donate my organs
28. I made time capsules as a kid and burried them in my garden
29. I've been accused of wearing false eyelashes, they are long
30. I love Patsy Cline
31. I was in labor with my first daughter for 19 hours
32. I once chased a man not wearing any shorts for 3 blocks
33. I once ambushed a man writing graffitti on my office window
34. I caught my first fish before I was 2 years old
35. I'm in the Guiness Book of World Records
36. I once owned enough shoes to fill 3 large Hefty trash bags
37. I love the Antique Road Show and dream of being on it
38. I have awesome friendships, many that span the course of 25+ years
39. I think perfume and incense should be used sparingly
40. I use to ride my skateboard better than all the boys
41. I wonder why grown women continue to wear overalls
42. I love taking pictures of people and nature
43. I was never the same after watching Life is Beautiful or reading Left To Tell
44. I love cultural celebrations and enjoy learning about and participating in cultures other than my own
45. I have dreams that come true
46. I've had premonitions of my own death
47. I took tap, ballet, jazz, modern dance and gymnastics
48. I was a Brownie and a Girl Scout
49. I've had my car stolen once and broken into 3 times
50. I want to write a book
51. I ran two half marathons
52. I ran 6 Bolder Boulders
53. I love Colorado
54. I like chick bands
55. I love gardening
56. I love God and think about him a lot
57. I own a massage table and massage chair and give incredible massages
58. I'm afraid I might die alone
59. I have a hot husband
60. I love authentic Mexican food
61. I'm still learning how to set boundaries in life and that it's okay to say no to people
62. I had a crush on my school principal, Mr. Schneider, when I was in kindergarten
63. I'm getting better
64. I'm still friends with my best friend from 4th grade
65. I've never been fired from a job
66. I am sometimes paralyzed by fear
67. I wish I was better at everything
68. I like the smell of library books and rain on a hot sidewalk
69. I am afraid of horses
70. I often get church laughter (but not at church)
71. I once wore my jeans inside out to school and let people write on my pants
72. I have one sister
73. I have firefighting parents
74. I'm afraid to get on a bus since the Great Yellow School Bus Debacle of 1976
75. I have perfect ears (jealous?)
76. I made fun of a girl in 4th grade and I still feel guilty
77. I never have plaque (so my hygenist says)
78. I love little surprises of any kind
79. I once beat up a girl 3 years older than me with my book bag because she called me names every single day after school...she stopped...I'm still in therapy
80. I have a weird feeling that I am supposed to have 3 kids even though I scheduled my husband's vasectomy and made him go and I never want to be pregnant again
81. I often volunteer for tasks or jobs I have no clue how to perform...I work best under pressure
82. I have a king-size bed but sleep on the edge
83. I get dressed in the same order every day, undies (bottom then top), socks (left then right), pants, and then shirt
84. I was in the puppet club growing up and love watching puppeteers and listening to story tellers
85. I was born in California...lived there for 10 years
86. I don't like shopping for clothes, don't like dressing rooms, and don't own a full length mirror (which drives people crazy when they come over and want to look in my mirror and have to stand on my bed to see themselves in the short mirror!)
87. I love peppermint lip balm
88. I've never had a nickname
89. I am part of the 20% of the population who have photic sneeze reflex
90. If I could have one super power I would want the power to heal
91. I want to receive a real ceremonial mehndi
92. I bite my bottom lip when I am nervous
93. I played a fierce game of tetherball in 5th grade and could beat everyone, girl or boy in my school

These are Words..."Sont les mots qui vont très bien ensemble"

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Why My Husband Gets To Look at Porn for a Year

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