When Life Lays an Easter Egg...

Make Egg Salad! Sitting in my fridge today were 36 brightly dyed Easter eggs. Not wanting them to go to waste, and not particularly wanting to serve hard boiled eggs for every meal for the next 3 days, I decided to make roast chicken, fruit and walnut, egg salad. How can something be so simple to make and taste so yummy?

Tonight I went to the gym for my first real post-bronchitis workout. Thanks to Fran and Todd for the inspiration today. I had originally planned to hit the pavement with Fran this afternoon but what do you know…it started to snow. For a moment I thought I was saved by the little white flakes but then I got the “just do it” email from Todd and decided I was out of excuses.

There were 7 people at Bally's tonight.

1. Parachute Man – Wearing the parachute pants that sing “Can’t Touch This” that would even embarrass Mc Hammer. I wanted to grab him by the wife beater and say “I haven’t wanted to touch that since 1987 now take off those damn pants for goodness sakes you look like a moron!”

2. Paula Barbella – Taking up valuable he-man space in the free weight room wearing a leotard and lifting those little itsy bitsy 2.5 lb. barbells. She’s going to stand there and do 9,000 reps but you know she couldn’t do one chin up if you were dangling a chicken wing in front of her.

3. Yo Adrian – This is that guy that has his hands all taped up to lift weights just in case he feels the need to break out into shadow boxing. He also likes to grunt when he lifts letting you participate in his microtrauma. He grunts when he grabs the bar, grunts when he picks it up, grunts as he lifts it, grunts as he puts it down. Every time he grunts I think he might be trying to shadow box my ass and so I duck. Only Lou Ferrigno could ignore the grunting. (sorry that was mean). On top of it all, he has no concept of concentric and eccentric lifting and jerks his weight around with every grunt.

4. The Doublmint Twins – This is the team up. You know, where two guys lift together and spot each other. Awe how nice. One guy loads while the other guy lays down on the bench spitting into his palms, preparing for the lift. After the first rep, they equally share the weight, where the guy spotting is actually lifting 200 lbs and the guy on the bench is pressing 200 lbs. Stop telling your friends that you bench 400 lbs. you dorks!

5. Gluteus Maximillian – “Hello, I am Max and I have laaarrrge round buttocks.” I’ve never actually seen the equipment that produces this ass but I am staying clear away from this man and any equipment he uses. No enhancements needed in this area thank you very much.

6. Schweaty Balls – No not Alec Baldwin…I should be so lucky. No, this is the guy that is using the nautilus machine next to me and has racked up the same weight as me, yet, to my shock and horror, he is dripping with sweat. Come on dude, have you seen my pectoralis major? Not exactly Schwarzenegger. You should not be sweating like that and you really shouldn’t be looking at me either you scrawny little pervert.

7. Boy Toy and His Girlfriend – “Hmmm, honey, should we go to a party tonight or workout at the gym?” “Both you say?” Let’s workout in our jeans so we’ll be all ready for the party as soon as we’ve completed our togetherness workout. Oh, and please tell me when my crack is showing so that I can hike my jeans back up to the lower part of my ass to meet my boxer shorts. This boy is just begging me to give him a wedgie.

Okay, what else do I have to tell you before my Easter break…oh, oh, yes, I know. I get adult time with my husband next week. Yes, it’s actually spring break for the girls and I'm taking them to the hills to spend time with grandma and papa at the cabin. I get to spend 4 whole days with my man, alone! Wahoo! What will we ever do with our time?