Daddies are good at picking you up and dusting you off.

Quote: “Daddies are good at picking you up and dusting you off.”

I didn’t know this. I guess I never thought about it. In fact, I grew up thinking the opposite I suppose. Growing up without a father I just always assumed that if I had one he’d probably just get in the way. I mean, we (mom, sis and I) had it all figured out. We were fine. We squashed the spiders. The bills got paid (probably not early mind you but they got paid). I knew how to check the oil in my car. We were fine getting by. Really, we did better than just get by. As I got older I even felt privileged that since I didn’t have a father, I probably learned things that my friends didn’t learn because I didn’t have a father figure to fall back on. I was strong and independent and everyone around me could see it and if they couldn’t, I was probably telling them “how” independent I was. I was anxious to get out on my own and show people that I could take care of myself and that I didn’t need a father.

But the other day I heard someone say “Daddies are good at picking you up and dusting you off.” I must have looked stunned. That thought had never crossed my mind. And I realized how dusty I must be. All these years that I’ve been thinking that I was compensating for all the fatherly advice I had missed and all the skills I gained so I wouldn’t ever need him. When all along, I’ve been collecting dust and probably not getting up as quickly as I should. It makes so much sense to me now. It makes sense when I look at the men I dated, it makes sense when I look at the jobs I’ve kept, it makes sense when I look at who I married and how I raise my kids. I seek out people who don’t need me to be needy, people who need me to be strong and have high expectations of me. I befriend people who need me to be there when they need me regardless of how it effects my own life. I seek out jobs that require me to do things that nobody would normally expect and I do these things better than anyone else could. It’s like I’ve been expecting my annual review to say “she worked better than our other employees who had fathers.” I chose a husband who knows that I can handle it…whatever “it” is whenever “it” happens. I raise my kids knowing that if they want it done right they have to do it themselves. What would my life be like if someone else (okay, a father) picked me up and dusted me off all those years when life beat me down? How would things be different?

Maybe I’d be less stubborn and more patient. Maybe I’d be less worried about tomorrow and more content with today. Maybe I’d have less answers and less reason to care about the answers. Maybe I’d have more time. Maybe I’d care about myself more. Maybe I’d be less busy. Maybe I’d allow myself to do all the things that scare me to death because I’d know that if I fail, I’d have someone to pick me up and dust me off. Maybe not. Whatever.