How to Get Your Butt Kicked By a 2nd Grader

Today all the 1st and 2nd graders went to Pump It Up. I chaperoned the little monsters. I don't know what it is about these little kids wanting to see grown adults pull hamstrings and get rug burns but they all wanted to challenge us to a race through the obstacle course. My opponent, Wild Boy Aidan, weighing in at only 60 lbs...smoked me right out of the gate, as he dives through the first hole, I try to actually put a leg through and my head at the same time...big mistake...then on to the first climbing wall...which I'm pretty sure he just completely hopped over somehow without climbing while I'm left behind trying to figure out what I'm supposed to hold onto...once over the wall its clear I'm going to hit the bottom pretty hard and I'm now wondering how many kids are going to land on my head...on to the second climbing wall where I've lost all sight of Aidan...at least this one has ropes to hold onto...and finally, I reached the top, where I am now fully aware of the fact that I am going to slide down at warp speed, certainly causing an uncomfortable wedgie, and possibly knocking over several kids in the process! I demanded a rematch...